I have an admission to make on your behalf. If I may –
You and everybody on the planet talks bad about themselves. Heck, some folks do it every day. If you are really good, you might fall into the category of a professional self-trash talker and even dream bad stuff about yourself. Yes, are THAT good!
I have another admission.
I do it too. I’m good at it. Better than you. Not only that, I like it when I dig deep and bury myself in the pain of talking trash about myself. It’s like watching a horror movie about my life without the nine-dollar popcorn.
But why is it good for you?
I work with clients who have a natural tendency to talk bad about themselves in their quest to make their lives better. It usually shows up as a reason masquerading as an excuse, which turns into a tool for them to explain their current situation to blame and link to past behavior. That’s as far most people go, good momentum stops, and bad momentum continues.
When you link your old bad stuff with your new bad stuff, you reinforce that behavior. Most folks have done it so many times they give up and go back to their old ways.
So how do you make talking trash about yourself a good thing?
Just like we learned in grade school, stop, drop, and roll.
1) Stop and recognize what you are doing. I know. It’s hard. But you can do it! Just stop talking bad about yourself. Don’t worry. You’ll get to do more in a minute.
2) Drop in and dig deep. Now that you are stopped drop down into the landfill that you are saying your life and get ready to get messy.
3) Start rolling in the stinky muck at the bottom that you say about yourself. Take a deep breath and say –
“That’s not real. What’s the real truth? How do I deal with it? How do I climb out of this landfill before I puke?”
Feel free to leave out the puke part.
Look, everybody feels down on themselves from time to time. That’s what life does to all of us. However, when you choose to see those moments as your inner voice screaming for your attention like a baby crying in their crib you can deal with it directly. When you do, you end up in a far better place.
Talking trash about yourself only happens when you are not clear about where your life is heading. It’s also a clue about what you want. Are you listening?