I’ve noticed in my life that humans are hoarders when it comes to keeping stuff that works and doesn’t. They keep hanging on; their life depends on it.
Now, before I go on, I think there are two situations at play here:
1) Hanging on to what has worked well but needs to go so you can do more of what you want to do.
2) Hanging on what doesn’t work in hopes that it will work well someday.
Both can go on for years and lead to frustration as you long for something else.
I was on the phone with a client this morning, and we ran into that situation. We began dealing with it a few months ago, and it’s still rearing its ugly head in her life.
After exploring it from every angle—
Should I keep it?
Should I put it to the side and come back to it?
Should I toss it and start over?
Should I… should I… should I.
I finally said the only thing that came to mind –
“The mere fact that you keep questioning it tells me that you want to drop it. You’re just worried about what comes next, which is strange because what’s next is what you want.
Let me ask a question—
How would you feel if you dropped everything holding you back and woke up in the morning with a clean slate and ready to move?”
She smiled. You know, with that almost embarrassed look that people get when they can’t pretend anymore. She was busted, and she knew it. That’s when she said—
“I’m not going to lie. That would feel great!”
We had a “moment,” and everything changed. I suggested a 30-day cooling-off period, but with the understanding that she is moving forward and not backward.
A few hours later, she sent me a note. It said, “I don’t need 30 days. Thanks.”
It’s simple. When making a life decision, if you stay, you can’t go; if you go, you can’t stay.
Make your choice.