Not a day goes by without someone asking how to get what they want. I almost always say, “It’s all about return on investment.” After all, it would be a shame to work hard toward your goals and end up with less than you started – right? That’s why you should run your life like […]
Do you ever get stuck on memories from the past? Bad memories? Unpleasant memories?
Focusing on the good is good for the soul. Dwelling on bad is terrible for everything.
The other day, my wife asked, “How do you completely disconnect from bad experiences? It’s as if you don’t see them.”
Trust me. I do.
A long time ago, I made a couple of distractions that guide me:
1) If you dwell on the past, you bring those experiences into your life. They become real again. You also neutralize positive energy. You will be stuck.
2) Lessons from the past are valuable. Even bad experiences yield wisdom when not attached to negative energy and emotions. Hang on to those lessons.
3) Some bad experiences are pesky. You will have difficulty shaking them from your mind. The solution is defining actions that will put them to rest.
You become what you think. Dwelling on past negative experiences will create more of them in your future.
Instead, look for every opportunity to think good thoughts, do good things, and enjoy a good life.
It’s that time of the year!
Millions of folks will soon be heading over the river and through the woods, hoping for a special celebration in the coming months.
In the spirit of good times, here are a few ideas on surviving upcoming conversation bombs:
1) It’s a stressful time of the year. Money. Kids. Travel. Show empathy. It’ll go a long way.
2) If Uncle Bob speaks his mind, it’s time to practice self-control. There is no need to add fuel to the fire by adding your two cents. Smile. Nod. Exit stage right as soon as possible.
3) Show interest in others and redirect conversations back to the person standing in front of you. They will love you even more.
4) Give yourself plenty of space. Don’t fill every moment with others. Take a walk. Sleep late. Enjoy a cup of coffee.
That should take care of almost everything. If not, repeat number four.
As the season approaches, focus on the meaning and celebrate with your heart.
It’s the world’s most straightforward recipe for success: Stand up, take a step, REPEAT!
A member wrote asking the best use of that simple advice:
1) Stop what you are doing. Block out everything. Focus on YOU.
2) Find a place where nobody will interrupt you for 5 minutes.
3) Ask yourself, “How is my life going?” Open your mind and let your thoughts flow into your life’s different areas and roles. Bring them into focus.
4) For things to go well, continue your momentum. For areas of concern, ask,” What CAN I do to make it better?”
5) Immediately take action based on your answers.
Checking in with yourself 5-minutes a day is all it takes to stay focused and on track toward your goals.
As you stroll through life, you will find opportunities that will present you with a VALUE choice. Your response speaks volumes about your character.
There’s no right or wrong. Only your inner voice guides you in your destiny’s direction. One selection moves you away. Another moves you closer to the person you want to be.
Values are your GPS to navigate life—rules you choose to follow. Honesty, integrity, family-focused life, and work-life balance are all examples of positive Values. Others are not so positive.
My number one Value is to do my best to do the right thing based on my rules. If I mess up, I say, “I’m sorry,” and try again.
Something to think about.
Have you struggled to break a habit?
Bad habits are not good. They will mess up your day. They are also not permanent. You weren’t born with bad habits and are not required under penalty of law to keep bad habits.
Since there’s no real reason to keep bad habits, let’s replace them easily.
Nobody likes to give up what’s comfortable – even if it’s not serving you. Instead, start a new behavior and replace the bad before it messes up your life again.
Breaking bad habits is doing new behaviors instead of old behaviors. No muss. No-fuss. Be consistent and persistent, and you will forever wipe that old habit away.
Before I begin, I want to define what I mean by doing nothing.
I don’t see doing ‘nothing’ as something unproductive. Instead, I see ‘nothing’ as a protected personal space between your thoughts and actions.
It is a place that provides a contemplation and planning opportunity before launching into massive and focused action design to reach your outcome and achieve your goal.
It is a holding space where inspiration, desperation, motivation, and even intimidation bubble into your consciousness and await your next action.
Instead of moving your thoughts immediately into action mode or never moving at all, both of which cause unnecessary drama, you purposefully quarantine your thoughts until you are assured of your success plan or decide to take a new direction.
Doing nothing looks like this:
1) All thoughts and potential actions arrive in your mind and are held for evaluation.
2) Unless based on a previous decision and cleared for instant action, you always take the time to ensure that your actions will lead you to your vision.
3) If you don’t know the absolute endgame of your journey, you are still on another path. Don’t step until you know where you are on your new path.
Ultimately, doing nothing is a place in your mind where you choose your path, direct your actions, and create your legacy. It is a place of personal respect built into you and will allow you to impact yourself and the world around you significantly.
I don’t know about you, but I get a lot of good thinking when doing nothing. That time is priceless.
If doing something takes you off track, you might be better off doing nothing – at least for a little while.
Is a title like “Three Steps Required to Change Anything” an oversimplification of what it takes to get what you want?
Or… is it the acceptance that everything is simple – until we complicate it?
If you guess the second, you will get along just fine.
So, what are those three steps?
The first step to getting anything you want is to KNOW what you want. Many will argue that the first step is the most difficult. Like they say, “work with the outcome in mind.” I don’t see it this way and believe it’s not more complicated than what follows.
Next, you need to know how to accomplish your goal by establishing a framework or roadmap. No, you won’t see every step you must take, but unless you are living under a rock, you will know the significant accomplishments that must happen. Just look around, and you’ll see them everywhere.
Finally, you must take consistent and disciplined action toward your goal with every waking moment. You take longer to reach your outcome every time you allow your focus to drift.
So, there it is. While many nuances will challenge you, the basic steps to getting what you want are simple –
Know it. Map it. Do it.
I’ll never forget the day a mentor of mine said to me —
“You have to become the person you want to be before becoming the person you want to be.”
So, do I have to fake it until I make it?
Heck no! I’m not going to change who I am – no way!
“No. You’re not changing who you are. It’s just that you have to understand that in the future, you will have a different set of beliefs than you hold right now. That’s called growth. Whatever you believe, you will become.”
At first, I thought he meant I would have to sell my soul to the devil and take on beliefs, not mine, to get what I wanted. But one day, I realized that day-to-day living is changing me anyway. I may as well make a choice myself.
My thinking went like this —
If I hold a self-image because of what I believe, all I have to do is create a future self-image, decide what that person would believe, and design a set of rules and actions that make those beliefs happen.
What’s the best part?
There’s no waiting. The very minute you decide what you believe, everything begins to change.
You hear a lot about using morning rituals to get more done. But what if you could use your mornings to get more done for YOU?
In the fast-paced world we live in today, there seem to be two groups when it comes to how to use mornings—personal and productivity. Once folks remove themselves from the craziness of jumping out of bed, taking care of the kids, and hitting the drive-through, they choose one of the two.
But what if there was a third group that was more satisfying?
Before I go on, I need to admit that I didn’t use to be a morning person and didn’t like getting up early at all. I even quit my first couple of jobs as a morning radio host so I could sleep.
Later in my career, I would hit my desk at 5 AM and pound through my to-do list as fast as possible. I must have been saying, “I…MUST… GET… IT… DONE!” That didn’t work well because I didn’t see the purpose of getting out of bed early if it was only to work.
For a few years, I spent my mornings reading and meditating before heading off to the gym. I got in better shape, but my bank balance was less, and my future goals were seemingly unreachable.
Then, one day, out of pure frustration and sporting a brand-new I don’t give a heck attitude, I asked myself a question that changed everything –
“What’s the first thing I should do tomorrow morning that, if I do, will allow me to live a life of my design?”
Notice that I didn’t ask about work or what was on my to-do list. It had nothing to do with getting more done or getting in better shape. I focused on the lifestyle I wanted to live – and it was life-changing.
In the years since I made that decision, I’ve started my days doing the most important thing I deem required to live the life of my choosing, and I’ve been happier for it.
I’ve also come across dozens of morning do-gooders who are getting everything done except what they dream of doing, and when they realize it’s not their fault, everything changes. They get caught up in the buzz of life, and everyone does. But, the minute you focus on YOU before anything else, you start making real progress.
When you focus on what is important to you, you get what is important to you.